brittle eman will compensate with extremism or break entirely. i'm really, really afraid of myself.

i feel like i'm being stuffed into a suitcase.

i hadn't seen anyone outside my family for a week. it felt like an eternity. i was lulled into the way of things. then i got a phone call. five minutes of a human voice reminding me that i came from another world. i belong to another place. i serve some purpose and have carved out a place in hearts elsewhere. it was fascinating. humbling. frightening. and somehow, it boosted my eman. the raging voices inside my head were quiet. socialization tranquilizes people. maybe it's a good thing. i can't hate something with a human face a human voice, especially ones that think i'm real. Isn't that amazing? SubhanAllah. I'm real.