I can't believe I'm writing this "love conquers all" cheese whiz.

scene: hijabi feminist throws darts at board labeled "MEN." then off to dinner w/ long time best bud, who drops the bomb that she's engaged. what the WAQETWER!! Flip out ensues

fem protagonist: "how can you side w/ the oppressor? You can't fight for women's rights if you're emotionally attached to the enemy. Your views will be forever neutralized for the sake of domestic bliss."

friend, pissed: everything isn't "us versus them," you know. there are greater issues to fight for - discrimination, profiling, world poverty. rabid feminism isn't the answer.

fem: if you dont take a stand, no one will listen. you're crushing your own voice, dont you get it?

friend: i dont have to take this. i thought you of all people would be happy for me.

fem: i thought my views were always crystal clear.

friend, angrily: assalamu alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu!
[Subtitled: peace be upon you and the mercy and blessings of God!
Subtitled Subtitles: Jerk!]

fem protagonist snatches apple from a fruit bowl and tears it apart, bite after bite hissing "walaikum assalam warahmatullah wabaraktuhu!"
[Subtitled: And peace be upon you , as well as the mercy and blessings of God!
Subtitled subtitles: Traitor!]

later that day...

scene: fem protagonist sings Soul Music during private time in the Hijabi House to vent frustration over friend's misguided fate. Next door, the House of Scraggly Beards raises its head in confusion. Likeable male protagonist/love interest to be taps feet to the tune. (ooo la la)

to be continued...